Actual exchange with a patient today:
Me: So what can we do for you today?
Student: I think a bug crawled up my nose.
Me: Why do you think that?
Student: Because I fell asleep outside yesterday and I noticed something moving around in there.
Me: Have you done anything to try to get it out?
Student: I ate spicy food, sniffed febreze, and used tweezers. None of it helped, but I think the febreze made it angry.
Despite our best efforts, we were unable to retrieve (or find evidence of) any pests up this poor girl's nose. Personally, I think our recommendations were just as amusing: black pepper (for sneezing) and a Neti Pot to flush the little bugger out!
(Disgusting) Update! - The patient emailed my doc last night...apparently she used the Neti Pot and out came......
are you ready for this?
A WORM!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! A little white worm. Now she's afraid it laid eggs in there.
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